What Would You Do in Dark Moments of Despair?

There are swaths of time that go by as a blogger where you slog, publish your posts, field inane requests by corporate sponsors and try to build your pipeline of articles. Then there are those instances where your work is punctuated with memorable and cool experiences. For instance, it could be when you get yourself interviewed for a great story. Perhaps it's when you publish a solid article. Or in this case, when you meet a really fantastic person. That person for this article is Jules @mumbear9 from The Bumpiest Path. I met her on twitter, have coffee'd with her several times since, and have enjoyed the stories she's regaled me with. Best of all, she's down-to-earth, 'real,' and I'm looking forward to forming a stronger friendship with her in due course. At a time when my attention is being diverted by other non-blogging ventures, I'd consider Jules has been a huge positive development for my blogging encounters. Perhaps the story she shares below will explain why. Please help me welcome Jules to The Associate Woman.

My Friend Jules @mumbear9 - lost in a carpark but still solid behind the wheel! 

My name is Julie AKA ‘Mother Bear’ not very original I know, but when I chose it I was just up late one night messing around with the computer and I had no idea that within hours I would become a ‘blogger’.

I am 42 years old and I have 9 children.

I did not give birth to 9 children though! I gave birth to 4 children and I foster 6 children. Now you are quizzing over the math side of things aren’t you? Our second child passed away in 2001 at the age of 5 during Heart surgery in Melbourne.

Incredible Maths: No Choice but to engage in Multiple Choice

My childhood was messy and traumatic.  However, there were a few times where very special people took the time just to be there for me!  I was never formerly fostered, many an opportunity was missed or ignored by people who could have done more to help. I believe if it hadn't been for those few significant people who stepped into my life, perhaps without even fully understanding their significance, I would not be the person I am today.

When I was 9 I was befriended by a fellow school student, who had an awesome family.  Her parents did not shun me, or discourage her from being my friend.  Many times I was invited to stay overnight and many times I secretly wished I did not have to return home.  They never judged me or made me feel lower than them.  I got to experience a busy, normal, loving and happy family.  They had 6 children!

"... all families were not like mine!"

That was when I first realised that all families were not like mine!

Another significant person was my scripture teacher in school.  She made me feel important and never made me feel inferior.  Amazingly we crossed paths many times and for a short time I lived with her family.   I again experienced what life should be like in a great family.

Amazingly both people now live within 5kms of me and we still keep in touch.

Somewhere along the path I decided that I wanted what I had seen.  I did not want what I had.  I determined that if I could not have it I would never marry or have kids.  I was young but very determined and It helped me survive my childhood.

I decided in my teen years that if crossing paths with 'normality' could have such a huge impact on me, then I would do the same for others.

My belief once I began fostering was that even if I have that child for one hour, if I could place a sparkle in their heart, a picture of what could be, then they could hope, plan and dream.  A small but bright memory to cling onto during dark moments, something to strive for in their own adult life, and hopefully they too would one day pass a bright star onto another.

My blog started with a similar intent. By sharing my life and all the events within it I hope to encourage another or even to have one leave the site with a smile on their face. People have asked me if I’m concerned about privacy. I guess, my thoughts are that if you met with me and commenced chatting with me, I would share my life story with you, so why not make it available a lot easier to a lot more people. I feel too that if we, mothers, parents, people, opened up and shared more, being less concerned about judgement then the mental health state of our world would improve!


Links

• SuperMum and Business Woman
• Sakura Oddie and Her Golden Rules

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