Do You Have a Favourite Child?

dExTeR is self employed, a self professed IT geek (his words, not mine) and guest posted on SuperParents last month talking about children and bullies in A Father Tells Why He Wants His Kids to Hit Back. Today, he's talking about favouritism - of liking one child more than the other. For me, I love both my children greatly, and thankfully like each of them for special reasons. But I have to confess I am in totally love with my daughter. Smitten, in fact. This doesn't mean I love my son any less, it just means my relationship with her is slightly different to what I have with him - and that is fine. But how about you? Have you a favourite child? Worse yet do you play favourites? Or how do you maintain equality whilst trying to build a relationship with each child?

The Favourite Child by Dexter Eugenio

Look at the Poor Kid in this Stock Art. :-(

I have 2 children at the moment, a boy 2 and a girl 4.  I can honestly say, hand on my heart, that my love for both of them is equal, but I know that this will change as the years go on.

Ask my Mum or Dad who their favourite child was, and the answer will be as distorted as the picture on your old analogue TV using an antenna that has one bent arm. Ask my sister the same question and the answer is laser-guided, locked-in, and fire-when-ready. She would say it would be “Dexter,” and I know it.

Multiple Choice: Kid A, B, or C (Both)

My 2 kids are at the age where their personalities complement each other and both have gone through amazing achievements personally.  But neither has yet to stand out as a “favourite child”.  It’s a competition they’ll never know about, and it’s a competition that we’ll never realise is running, but it always is, and there will always be the one child who would be the favourite at the end.

Any parent of multiple children that says they love them all the same is straight up lying.  If your children are young, I may actually believe you, but as the years roll on, you WILL choose and you WILL make a decision whether you want to or not.  So with this in mind, I’ve decided to breakdown some of the main reasons why one child may be favoured over another/others.

I’m too sexy for my sibling

This is an easy one.  In a time where mixed race couples are on the steady increase, the chance of one child looking more like one parent is extremely high.  Personally, I can’t use this card as both of my kids look like me. But I’m sure there are parents out there that favour the child that looks like them, or that’s better looking than the other(s).  It’s sad but true. 

The Minogue, Kidman, McPherson syndrome

Again, this is a no brainer.  There will always be one child that will excel the other(s) whether it be academically, artistically or physically.  This alone is grounds for favouritism and further secret brownie points are awarded to the child that follows in, or fulfils the footsteps and dreams of one of the parents.

B-b-b-b-b-Bad to the Bone

This is the “giving the win to the other sibling” reason.  It’s more about losing the contest than winning it and it’s one of the easiest ways to decide who NOT the favourite child is.  If one of your kids is bad, constantly misbehaves, has a bad attitude and personality all round, it’s one of the quickest ways for them to take a backward step. I’ve seen this in action first hand to the point where the child in question is shunned from the family.  Middle child syndrome applicants accepted.

Mini Me

This is closely related to the first reason, but is on a different, sometimes deeper level.  I like rap music, and one day, hopefully one of my kids will too.  Whilst I can’t guarantee that, it’s clear that the more you have in common with one of your kids (sport, music, movies, personality) the more likely you are to favour them.  Don’t believe me; take a look at Carlton vs. Collingwood match just to see how strong the power of like-mindedness is.

Let’s talk about sex, baby

This is a very lame, but entirely valid reason.  The terms “mummy’s boy” and “daddy’s little girl” didn’t just magically appear in the English vocabulary, they’re there for a reason.  Want the most extreme example?  Look no further than China.

If you’ve gotten this far, I would imagine that some of you are still thinking about your kids and saying what is he on about, I love all of my kids the same, and I don’t doubt you for a second and I believe you 100%.  But it will change, like it or not.  There will be a time where one child will be a stand out, and other times, it may be one of the others.  But the sum of all things will always lead to one child being the favourite of one or both parents, as the titles states, it’s an unavoidable decision.    

So will it be my son?  Or will it be my daughter?  

dEx
dEx runs the blog gossip ink.social media and can be found on Twitter at @gossipism.

Links

• Is a Mother's Guilt the Same as a Father's Fear?
• Having a Favourite Child by Dr Bron

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